Why did I get married??

Let me start by saying that I don’t want to be one of those people who over-post about how wonderful their spouse, baby, etc. are. So, if you’re one those people who might want to gag at my bragging (like I probably would), you might want to turn away now.

However, as I’m unwinding in my comfy bed, eating a brownie my husband just baked and brought to me, I realized there might be some solidity to my thoughts. I realized that someone might could benefit from hearing about my day. What started as a simple Facebook update, has turned in to a story about waiting for the “right” person.

A lot of pressure is put on girls, starting at a very young age, to find Prince Charming & get married. I went to college, worked a good job, and started my own business all before I was 23, but none of that amounted to anything because I wasn’t married yet. (Please be cautious with your comments so as to not to make a young girl feel slighted because she hasn’t tied the knot yet.) I came close to marrying the wrong person a couple of different times. Now, I thank my lucky stars that something inside of me stopped me each time.

How do you know who is “right” for you? Here’s how I know. Today, I had a particularly crummy afternoon. I got so bogged down by things going on around me, and I really let it get me down and discouraged. My new husband knew I wasn’t having the best day. I came home to dinner cooked and ready with the table set, awaiting my arrival. This in itself was a treat, because I probably would have broken down in the kitchen if I couldn’t find the right spatula. Then, he spent our entire dinner listening to me rant and rave about every tiny, minuscule thing that bothered me today. Next, we went for a walk around the neighborhood (my request), while I ranted some more. He listened, which was the most important thing I needed, but also provided such beneficial suggestions/comments. (He always says the best things.) How do I know I picked the right mate? Because my husband reassures me and builds me up when I’m down. Now, I’m chillin’ in my cozy bed, enjoying a brownie and milk that he cooked, recuperating from my trying day. (Reason number 7,462 I married him – he cooks!)

Moral of the story: it is so very important to pick someone who is a good balance for you. Life isn’t a fairy tale made up of exotic vacations and leisure activities. Life is days like today, where you come home exhausted, beaten down, and ready to give up on everything. That’s what the real world is. So, you need to pick someone who makes those days worthwhile. When picking someone you’re supposed to spend forever with, you need to pick someone who picks you up when your down. Someone who balances out your negatives. Someone who listens and helps you make tough decisions. Someone who fixes dinner and/or brownies when you just don’t have the strength. It’s like a seesaw…when you’re down, they bring you back up. When they’re down, you bring them back up. The roller coaster ride of life doesn’t end until you close your eyes for the last time. You have to pick someone based upon how you are as a couple during those times.

That being said, if you’re not dating someone who does this very thing for you. Get rid of them! Starting over isn’t nearly as scary if you think about eventually finding someone who can be the partner you really need.

I’m not writing this just to brag on my husband (although he deserves it). I’m writing this in hopes that someone may read it and realize they could do better. I’ve struggled many times over the years, not getting what I needed from a relationship. (And guilting myself for needing “too much.”) But that’s not the case. Girls, if you don’t have a guy that can turn a bad day around within seconds, then you don’t have the right guy. Just keep waiting. Do not settle for anything less than a man who takes your bad days away.

This post turned out to be quite a bit longer than I hoped, but I felt burdened to share my thoughts. This life is tough. Every day brings a new struggle. The purpose of marriage and relationships is to find someone who makes things more bearable. I am so very blessed to found such a good man. I thank God for him every single day. If you’re not quite there yet, don’t worry! Your time is coming. And one day you will sit back and be thankful for not settling for anything less than wonderful.

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