I sat there sipping my coffee, still reeling a bit from the hatred I saw the night before. I have a tinge of a headache and I’ve debated what might have caused this one. I’ve engaged in some intelligent dialog already this morning, which restores a bit of my faith in humanity. I’m listening to John Prine’s Spanish Pipedream (video below) for the first time and considering it as a political statement of sorts.
If you haven’t had your nose rubbed in this enough yet, it’s election year here in America. Every election that I can remember has been a tough one. Our country is always divided. A large portion of the population is afraid. Many become downright mean and disrespectful, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve hated the back and forth banter. This year seems to be all of the above on steroids. This year seems to be the most crude and divisive election thus far in my lifetime. Before we continue, if you think I’m going to take some sort of political stance with this post, I am not. If you think I’m going to condemn or condone a particular candidate, I am not. Instead, I simply want to talk about the manner in which these conversations are had.
As with any other topic in life, we will often disagree. I may firmly see a situation from one end of the spectrum and you could see it from the other end. What I’ve found to be true in most scenarios is that the “truth” actually lies somewhere in the middle of our perceptions. There are seldom black and white solutions and there’s almost always an exception to the rule. Just as an example, you might be “pro-life” and yet support a mother terminating a pregnancy if she’s told that she’ll certainly die if she carries that baby to term. You might want to “close our borders” and yet would not turn away a scared, abused child that needed refuge from a tyrannical country. You might even draw a hard and fast line in the sand on the issues above. However, the majority of the time, I believe rational people will see a variation in what’s true when they’re presented with other side of a story. A less political example could be a disagreement at home. Harry could have come home early and worked on a project in the backyard. Since he came home early, Sally could have expected him to do the dishes. When Harry didn’t do the dishes, Sally drew the conclusion that Harry doesn’t want to help around the house and that he expects her to do everything. When seeing how frustrated Sally is, Harry then demands that she only complains and that he can’t do anything to please her. Ever. A neutral third party could easily what actually went down and understand that both are a little right and a little wrong. By communicating their individual perspectives, Harry and Sally could come to realize that neither were inherently wrong and the reality of the situation lied somewhere in the middle of their two perspectives.
This post, however, is less about the actual topics at bay in this election and more about how we treat one another. I’ve been rather fired up during this election, and I’ve chosen to stay calm and to keep most of my opinions/frustrations to myself. Well, Matthew has heard them. Repetitively. Other than that, I’ve mostly kept my lips sealed. If I had the chance, though, to stand on the world stage and offer any insight to influence our country it would be the following things:
- We should ALWAYS have respect for another’s opinion, even if it’s vastly different than our own. You can be pro-life or pro-choice and still have a RESPECTFUL conversation with someone on the other side of an important issue. As a matter of fact, you could possibly understand the other side a little better or at a minimum have some new information to consider if you truly listened to the other side without judgment. We’ve all heard the saying that a person’s true character is shown in how they treat someone who can’t do anything for them. I think character shows up in how we treat someone that we disagree with. Or in what we post angrily on facebook.
- It’s very, very easy to exclaim what’s “right” or what’s “wrong” and how things should be done from our own living rooms. We should keep in mind though, that the information provided to us in our living rooms, is limited. We have a very limited view of the situation as a whole. And as with anything, it’s easy to call the shots and say what you would do, when you’re not actually faced with a situation. For example, I often hear people say that a victim of domestic violence should “just leave.” That’s very easy for someone to say who doesn’t feel that their life is in danger, who doesn’t have children with an abuser to consider, who doesn’t have to determine how they’ll support themselves if they leave, and who isn’t being controlled both physically AND mentally. It’s easy to offer up what you would have said AFTER the fact, and even easier when you weren’t the one faced with a stressful situation to begin with. And with so much abuse being discussed in this election, I think it’s downright disrespectful and appalling to decide from our couches if someone was or wasn’t abused or what they should have done. That’s not our place and we have much too limited information to ever make a judgement of the sort. Furthermore, keep in mind that your comments and discussion on the topic of abuse can be very damaging. Statistically, someone in your circle of friends or your facebook feed has been a victim of abuse. Belittling these situations is a major insult to those people.
- In addition to all of the hot-topic issues this election year, I feel as if we should also be considering the moral character of the person we choose to lead our country, keeping in mind that what you deem to be morally correct can be very different than what your neighbor thinks. We can talk about Planned Parenthood, border control, the Second Amendment, and taxes (Although, why aren’t we talking more about education and healthcare??) until we’re blue in the face. However, most of these items aren’t even directly controlled by the President. The President definitely has influence, yet many decisions are actually made by Congress, not the President themselves. Therefore, we should be a little more selective when choosing our Congressmen rather than saving all of our passion and decision-making abilities for the Presidential race. We can talk about “issues” all day long and yet one of the things that I feel to be most important, especially in this election, is the moral character of the candidate that can, and likely will, set the tone for future decisions and justice in our country. Think of it this way – if you had to chose a candidate that was an immediate influence on the character of your own son or daughter, who would it be? Please don’t answer this question aloud. Just ponder it. If you were raising a child who would reflect the morals, the attitudes, and behaviors of one of our Presidential candidates, who would you want to raise up and present to the world? Who’s behavior would you endorse and be proud of?
- There are more than two candidates in this race. I’ve heard soooo many times that we’re choosing the “lesser of two evils” in this election. First of all, you voting (or not voting) in the primaries is what brought these candidates to the national stage. Secondly, there are other candidates available! We do not have to vote simply Republican or Democrat. Do your research and see if there’s another candidate that might align more with your values. There could be another candidate on the ballot that’s a better fit to lead our country. I saw someone say recently that if every person who used the “lesser of two evils” speech voted third party, there’s a high change that the third party would be the majority winner. Don’t simply vote Trump or Hillary because they’re the two you see on TV most. At least do your due diligence and research all candidates before using your little thumb to choose the leader of our country. You owe it both to yourself and your country to be informed.
- Do NOT take everything you read or see on the news as truth, especially if you’re getting your information from biased parties! Do your own research! Check the facts. Step out of your echo chamber and learn for yourself what the truth is. Even the facts thrown around by the candidates themselves aren’t 100% true! (And sometimes they’re completely false.) I firmly believe that if you’re not going to do your own research, look for what’s true, and consider ALL of the information at hand, you should not vote. Making a decision on the leader and representative of our country based on bogus articles shared on facebook or information from biased news sources, is irresponsible. Be informed before making this or any other large decision. Please!
Again, this post is not condemning or condoning any particular candidate. Furthermore, I’m not looking to incite opinions on who’s right and who’s wrong. I am especially not inviting anyone to voice their opinions without respecting the opinions of others. Instead, I’m simply suggesting that we not set our human decency to the side, just because it’s an election year and we have different opinions on the subject matter than our peers. We’ve seen enough of this behavior lately. Whose lives matter most, for example? I’ve seen more insults and inconsiderate comments made on this sensitive subject than I’d care to admit. Common decency insists that we respect others, even when we disagree. Now, when we have tiny computers with us at all times, we sometimes feel the need to vomit our opinions for the entire world to see BEFORE we consider the consequences, before we consider the whole story, or before we consider our audience.
I am a huge proponent of free speech and the ability to make our own choices. However, I cannot stand for “free speech” as an excuse to say things at the expense of others. “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say nothing at all,” said Thumper on Bambi. He was right. We thankfully have the ability to say whatever we chose to be correct. That doesn’t mean that we have the right to insult others, to not consider all of the facts before speaking, or to be disrespectful. It is alright to be passionate. I’m probably one of the most passionate people I know when it comes to something I believe in. However, passion is not an excuse to be reckless. Your words live on in the minds of others forever. By not choosing them carefully, you could be doing more harm than good.
This election year, I encourage everyone to be informed and to be considerate. We can disagree or see different sides of any particular issue without insulting one another. If you don’t feel like you can, consider keeping your hurtful and accusatory comments out of the global conversation. If we truly want to contribute something to the conversation, we can be more effective by doing so with grace and understanding. The “other side” likely isn’t comprised of a bunch of outlandish monsters. Instead, it’s made up of your neighbors and likely a lot of your friends. Before you rip them to shreds or position them as the “devil, the anti-Christ, ridiculous, dumb, and stupid as hell” (all words I’ve seen posted by people that I actually know on social media), consider first what you look like by being so aggressive and inconsiderate. I maintain that our first duty to society is to be respectful and considerate of others. If you’re not able to do that when choosing your words, consider remaining silent until you can. Everyone will appreciate your restraint.
Beautiful photo by: Ashlee Matthews