I alluded to the fact that I’d write more about the flood and I honestly assumed that would have already happened. I have several sentences marked down here and there documenting my feelings and experiences of the last two months. However, nothing feels complete and honestly, I feel as if I haven’t been able to fully draw out what I’ve experienced lately because of the roller coaster of emotions I’ve been on. There have been highs and very lows and stress, something I avoid like the plague, has set up shop in my life and it’s been a constant battle for me to live despite that fact.
Then, cabinets were a game changer. We’ve had two major delays throughout this process and those were getting doors and cabinets. These two items alone blew a hole in my overly ambitious plan to be back in my home by May 30. Both were also completely out of my control which caused its own set of emotional struggles. Even though I knew the “hard times” were so, so temporary, I still found it difficult to stay positive (and not wildly frustrated) at times. It was often very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel without secretly fearing it was a train.
Then, on Tuesday, May 10th our doors arrived. Unloading them from the trailer offered a glimmer of hope that we might be making progress after all. Just three short days later, our cabinets were delivered and installed. Seeing those cabinets sitting in their well-designed spot in the kitchen, was a major game changer for me. I wrote on IG that I could have hugged the cabinet guy and laughed/cried/danced about. It felt like I’d been waiting a lifetime to see those cabinets and to behold them in all their freshly-crafted glory felt like my own silver lining. I suddenly felt like we would make it. We would someday finish rebuilding and get to live in our home again. The decisions I’ve been making on the fly without as much consideration as I’d like, were turning out ok. We would be done with this living nightmare soon.
I would have never guessed that cabinets could cause such a transformation in my mood, though I’m beyond thrilled to have switched to a more positive mindset. I don’t thrive well in negativity and worry had undoubtedly consumed me. I felt lost and like I’d never find my way again, even when my rational mind insisted that I would. Now, with cabinets and a few doors hanging on their hinges, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I know it’s not a train. Instead, it’s the sunshine that’ll be pouring through my windows as I settle back into my new, old home. It still feels like a distant dream, though suddenly I’m rejuvenated enough to finish the fight.
P.S. If anyone is looking for an amazing cabinet maker, Matthew and I highly recommend Bailey’s Custom Cabinets. Jimmy Bailey was very attentive and took notes (something most don’t even take the time to do). He asked lots of questions, making sure to understand our goals. Even more importantly, he delivered what he said he would deliver, every single time WHEN he said he’d do it. He has by far been one of the most pleasant and least frustrating people to work with during this progress. And our cabinets look and feel awesome.