All posts by Pamela Petrus

Why did I get married??

Let me start by saying that I don’t want to be one of those people who over-post about how wonderful their spouse, baby, etc. are. So, if you’re one those people who might want to gag at my bragging (like I probably would), you might want to turn away now.

However, as I’m unwinding in my comfy bed, eating a brownie my husband just baked and brought to me, I realized there might be some solidity to my thoughts. I realized that someone might could benefit from hearing about my day. What started as a simple Facebook update, has turned in to a story about waiting for the “right” person.

A lot of pressure is put on girls, starting at a very young age, to find Prince Charming & get married. I went to college, worked a good job, and started my own business all before I was 23, but none of that amounted to anything because I wasn’t married yet. (Please be cautious with your comments so as to not to make a young girl feel slighted because she hasn’t tied the knot yet.) I came close to marrying the wrong person a couple of different times. Now, I thank my lucky stars that something inside of me stopped me each time.

How do you know who is “right” for you? Here’s how I know. Today, I had a particularly crummy afternoon. I got so bogged down by things going on around me, and I really let it get me down and discouraged. My new husband knew I wasn’t having the best day. I came home to dinner cooked and ready with the table set, awaiting my arrival. This in itself was a treat, because I probably would have broken down in the kitchen if I couldn’t find the right spatula. Then, he spent our entire dinner listening to me rant and rave about every tiny, minuscule thing that bothered me today. Next, we went for a walk around the neighborhood (my request), while I ranted some more. He listened, which was the most important thing I needed, but also provided such beneficial suggestions/comments. (He always says the best things.) How do I know I picked the right mate? Because my husband reassures me and builds me up when I’m down. Now, I’m chillin’ in my cozy bed, enjoying a brownie and milk that he cooked, recuperating from my trying day. (Reason number 7,462 I married him – he cooks!)

Moral of the story: it is so very important to pick someone who is a good balance for you. Life isn’t a fairy tale made up of exotic vacations and leisure activities. Life is days like today, where you come home exhausted, beaten down, and ready to give up on everything. That’s what the real world is. So, you need to pick someone who makes those days worthwhile. When picking someone you’re supposed to spend forever with, you need to pick someone who picks you up when your down. Someone who balances out your negatives. Someone who listens and helps you make tough decisions. Someone who fixes dinner and/or brownies when you just don’t have the strength. It’s like a seesaw…when you’re down, they bring you back up. When they’re down, you bring them back up. The roller coaster ride of life doesn’t end until you close your eyes for the last time. You have to pick someone based upon how you are as a couple during those times.

That being said, if you’re not dating someone who does this very thing for you. Get rid of them! Starting over isn’t nearly as scary if you think about eventually finding someone who can be the partner you really need.

I’m not writing this just to brag on my husband (although he deserves it). I’m writing this in hopes that someone may read it and realize they could do better. I’ve struggled many times over the years, not getting what I needed from a relationship. (And guilting myself for needing “too much.”) But that’s not the case. Girls, if you don’t have a guy that can turn a bad day around within seconds, then you don’t have the right guy. Just keep waiting. Do not settle for anything less than a man who takes your bad days away.

This post turned out to be quite a bit longer than I hoped, but I felt burdened to share my thoughts. This life is tough. Every day brings a new struggle. The purpose of marriage and relationships is to find someone who makes things more bearable. I am so very blessed to found such a good man. I thank God for him every single day. If you’re not quite there yet, don’t worry! Your time is coming. And one day you will sit back and be thankful for not settling for anything less than wonderful.

Post Marriage Plans

I’m going on a month and a half now of being married to the most wonderful man on the planet. I didn’t really expect much to change after getting married, but surprisingly things have. I’ve found myself becoming much more Suzy Homemaker-ish! Many of you don’t know this yet, but my new husband is going back to school. While taking care of his dad after the plane crash in the spring, he decided the he might really like that medical stuff. So now we, (I say we because it’s going to take the both of us!), are off to try out a nursing degree.

So what does this mean for our new little family? Two things. 1. We will be taking an income reduction because my sweet husband won’t be able to work as much. 2. Our costs are going to rise as he will be commuting 40 miles/day to school and we have to pay for his schooling this time around. (Too bad TOPS doesn’t give you a chance for a second degree!)

Long story short, I’ve been consumed with things that I can do to cut costs around the house without changing our lifestyle too much. I’ve seriously spent hours and hours on Pinterest looking at cool ideas. It’s like my new mission to make things more efficient around here!

So here’s what I have so far:
1. Canceling cable. I’ve seriously watched it maybe 3 times the last 6 months. What a waste! Plus, we have Netflix and Hulu+ to keep us entertained. (I just gotta figure out how to get Salt & Pepper’s big tv debut off the DVR first.)

2. Making my own laundry detergent. My BFF did this over the summer and she loved it. I found a pretty simple recipe for liquid detergent and it claims to cost just $6 for over 500 loads. Sign me up!!

3. Making my own cleaning supplies. I’ll be honest. I always thought this was so lame. However, it is proven that the chemicals in cleaner you buy are bad for you. Did you know that those companies have NO regulations on what they can put in their cleaners? Crazy! Plus, some of the cleaner recipes I’ve found, swear that they clean better than traditional cleaners. I’m certainly willing to try anything that means less scrubbing!

4. Now here’s the real shocker. I’m about to try freezer cooking. It’s gonna be tough for anyone who really knows me to not fall over dead after seeing this but, I’m just so intrigued by it! Basically, you make one big shopping trip a month, prepare a month worth of meals at once, and freeze them! The big plus with this idea is that we’re approaching the hubby and I’s busy seasons at work. Plus, he has schoolwork now, too. Having time/energy to cook an elaborate meal just isn’t going to happen. So I’m going to give this little notion a try. In addition to saving time & energy, you also save money by making just one trip to the store (less impulse buys) and by buying things in bulk.

All of these things are very unlike me. I can’t decide if I’m just intrigued by the simple living styles, or if this marriage thing has gone to my head. I’ve always been a pretty thrifty gal, but sure as heck never considered making my own soap! Either way, I’m gonna tackle a few of these ideas soon & I’ll let the 3 of you who read this first-ever-blog-post of mine know how it goes.

(In addition to these, I have a million other DIY projects up my sleeve, so I’m going to use this blog to keep track of my progress. Follow along if you’d like!)

Pamela P.