I sat there on a Saturday and I cried. It was the day after I got the unofficial news that I would indeed be moving. Everything was lining up as it should to make this unexpected deal work out for everyone involved. It wouldn’t be a “done deal” for a few more weeks, though verbal agreements were made and things were falling in to place.
So much has happened over the last 2-2.5 years. I lost my home and belongings to a flood. I lived in that uncertainty and rebuilt. I went through a divorce and lost that home again. I moved twice. I experienced the tragic death of a cousin and then the same for one of my closest mentors immediately after. My best friend/new boyfriend died in my lap. And then came back to life. And then we broke up and got back together. And then I had $15,000 taken from me and was homeless for a week and a half. Continue reading
Walking as if. This idea was presented to me in passing in book club and the concept has stuck with me. The premise is that you begin “walking as if” your life is already what you dream it to be. Dreaming of that promotion at work? Act as if you already have it. What would you wear? How would you treat others in your office? What time would you get to work? The idea is that by going ahead and behaving as if you already have the thing you want the most, your life will begin to take shape around it.
One thing that I’m really good at is making something out of nothing. It probably stems from not having a choice most of my life. I can remember my mom saving everything. Every single thing. There was never a scrap piece of wood or fabric too small. If there was a remote chance that it could be used for a future project, we kept it. I still do this. Continue reading
I’ll be moving soon. I’ll be packing up and starting to live in this beautiful new house that I’ve worked so tirelessly on. I’m excited about it. I’m excited about my new, old house and everything it represents. I’m excited about a fresh start and about all the new memories that’ll be built in that place. And I’m also sad to leave where I am now.
Let’s talk flooring today. One of the selling points of this house was its original hard wood flooring that was throughout most of the house. Knowing that we could hopefully salvage these old floors both added to the house’s character and saved a big hit on the budget. For a brief moment, I thought we’d rehab those old floors ourselves and we rather quickly gave up that DIY dream!
I’m back in therapy. One of the things we’ve talked about recently is the unrealistic and unreasonable expectations I have of myself. We’ve discussed my fear of being “found out” when people around me realize I’m not all that great. I give myself no grace and no freedom to make mistakes or come up short.
It’s starting to look like someone might be planning to live here! The front of the house has a coat of primer which is a great sneak peek at what it’s going to look like with fresh paint. Not to mention all of the freshly trimmed trees and vegetation. It’s looking more like a cozy home than an abandoned piece of history now. You can turn into the driveway without fear of scratching your car and another burn pile of limbs and such has been burned. That’s progress, folks!
I finally feel like I have something to update you all on! We’ve been in that yucky middle part that I dread so much. It’s where things slow way down and it seems like NOTHING IS HAPPENING. Usually, you’re waiting on someone to do something and it’s where I lose all motivation. The good news is, I’m learning this about myself which means I can learn to be prepared for it. This is my fourth house to remodel in two years and it’s happened every single time. The yucky middle is where I lose motivation. So now that we’re coming out of the uneventful middle, I figured it’s time for an update! Continue reading